Trials.

So I feel the need to write about something that I’m going through right now. About 2 months ago the man I was supposed to marry this year left me. We were living in the same house as each other ( he had no family in south Florida so he lived with me) At the time I thought everything was going perfect between us. We were happy, we fought sometimes, we loved each other very much. Than with a blink of an eye he had come to me crying saying he didn’t love me anymore and that things in the relationship had changed. I had felt my heart break when I heard this, I actually got sick to my stomach.  There’s no other words to describe what I felt at that moment. For awhile I had hated myself thinking I did something wrong, and I didn’t talk to anyone around me. But after a week or so of feeling bad for myself I had decided to give my pain to God and let Him help me. I had let Him tell me what Bible studies to read, and I had gone to church every second I could. Now I can see clearly that I had made a mistake. I had mapped out my life on my own with out God’s guidance. I had planed on getting married living in NC ( we were about to buy a house there) and having kids within 2 years of that. I was ignoring God’s call on my life and not letting Him light my path. I know God is a jealous God and He wanted my attention. I can tell you now he has it all. I want to live my life for Him and only Him. That’s why I’m so happy to be taking part in this internship. I pray it leads me to where He wants me. I now don’t make plans for my future or promise things to anyone because I don’t know what is going to happen or what could happen.Psalms 119:105 ” Your word is a lamp at my feet, and a light for my path.” God only shows me the next step not  several steps ahead that. If I chose to walk blindly than I would stumble in my path. Which is what I did and I stumbled pretty bad but God was there to pick me up again and wipe the tears off my face.
It is truly amazing what an awesome God we have and how forgiving He is. Well I leave you with one last thing. ” Focus on what God wants you to do TODAY, not tomorrow.”