Wake Up Calls.

It’s 5 am in the morning and there’s my father nudging me and saying my name “Ashley, Ashley, ASHLEY, you need to get up for school” No matter how much I hated this at the time, how rude I was, how grumpy and upset at him I was he still did this every morning with a smile on his face. I am by NO MEANS a morning person. I had hated school beyond belief but knew I had to roll out of bed, take a shower, eat, get dressed, drive half way to school, than walk about 1 mile to school (my sister didn’t have a parking permit for the school). This was all the process of going to a place I had hated, a place where I felt more a lone than ever, no one understood me there I was made fun of by kids and teachers. Some days while I was at school weren’t so bad though, there were days my friends and I would have a blast, I would sleep through classes, win some political debates ( I used to love this), and just have a good day. Not every day was as horrible as I thought.

This process reminds me a lot of what God is doing in my life, He has given me a WAKE UP CALL. He is softly nudging me and saying “Ashley, Ashley, Ashley…get up”. Before I was completely up I would grumble, complain, and say things out of harshness. Through this all God had a smile on His face and love in His heart. He cared for me so much He took the time to wake me up. Well I am up and in the process of getting ready, all the painful task I have to do to prepare myself for the day are on my plate. I am still being pruned and He is still working on me. If I want this change in the world, I have to be the change. As much as all of these things may hurt, or in our human minds “just aren’t fare!” They are things that need to be done, things that God is using to shape me into the woman He wants me to be. Not the woman I WANT TO BE(thank God for that ha). He is preparing me for my long day at school, and though some of those day will not be the best, others will be GREAT. Now unlike the days when I was in school, I am looking forward to those bad days and those great days.

Part of my wake up call was the fact that I am not spending time with my Father, my Savior, my EVERYTHING. How could I be so mistaken of the things I say and do? I want change in the world, I want to see people devoting their self’s to God. People fully on fire for Him. I want the world to stop telling us what to chase and I want people to CHASE our maker. If I want these things I need to be these things, part of that is spending time with God daily. Here I have been so selfish, I’ve been talking to friends online, face booking, myspaceing, sleeping, working out, tanning, and just anything so simple and small. Things that we wouldn’t think is taking our time from our father! Things that our for ourselves. Things that won’t matter in a week, a month or even years from now! I am 100% selfish and out for myself. I want instant gratitude in my life. I am a servant acting like the master. I am learning to lay down my life daily and something has come in my way… myself. Currently in my bible studies God has showed me verses about PRIDE, SELFISHNESS, and what is means to truly be a SERVANT. I am struggling in all of these areas in my life. I am trying to be selfless, a faithful servant (who won’t grumble or complain), and be completely humble. I can’t be these things without God in my life.

He kept leading me to the same verse for a couple days now and that verse is written in the bible twice (that I know of) Psalms 105:4 and 1 Chronicles 16:11.

” Look to the Lord and His strength; SEEK HIS FACE ALWAYS”

I am honestly trying to seek His Face from all that I do. I am trying to rely on His strength and not my own, and Look to the Lord through out life instead of looking for people or things for comfort and reassurance.

I ask you as my readers, my friends, my brothers and sisters if you see me being proud, being an un loyal servant, complaining, grumbling, speaking wickedly against my brothers or sisters, being selfish, or not seeking His face in what I’m doing. I ask you to REMIND me, that these are not things of the Lord, they will just be me holding myself back.

There’s more to life than living for myself.