Coming home from the field is something that's exciting, you get to come home to your loved ones tell them what the Lord has shown you and what He has done through you or your team. You expect to have family and friends holding their arms open to embrace you and hear everything that you've learned. Well in my case it's a little different. Family I have yes and they are amazing and friends..well I don't have that many here really to be honest. (Who I used to be is a reflection of most of my friends. I can tell you they think I'm crazy and think I'm the last person on earth to have found faith. I still love them though.) So coming home I expected it to be different. This is basically where I screw up, I've been a lone since being home. I ended up with a number of medical problems one of which being TB. I was told I could have cancer ( turned out I didn't don't worry) and spent a couple of days in the ER. There was just so much to handle a lone. My family was there yes, but to be honest living in community has screwed me up. I yearn for that community again. With everything going on I started drinking again, among some other things. I also stopped attending church, and my daily time with the Lord has gone out the window. It's just so easy to fall into the world when you don't have the support of believers around you. I started dating a guy who isn't a believer, he was great and treated me like a princess. I felt special with him, but he ended it all just recently. I thought he was what I needed to be happy. Now I'm here, a lone, confused, ashamed of myself, and with no plans for my life. I know there's glory in it all some where. The Lord is here some where I just need to find Him and listen. I'm trying to get back on the horse but it's hard when there's no one there to help you up.